Monday, May 18, 2015

100 crappy paintings

The dreaded rut.  I find myself in the middle of a deep rut.  I'd love to say that I've felt uninspired, but that wouldn't really be the truth.  More accurately, I've felt overwhelmed.  I somehow fell into the dark trap of comparisons.  Spending WAY too much time online looking at images, reading, soaking in the latest gear envy circulating the forum.  I recognized this, but almost didn't want to change it.  There was a small part of me that was enjoying it all.

But that part was small.  Very small.  And it's not like I don't know what to do about it.  I know myself well enough to know that if I'm browsing B&H, opening facebook for no reason, or aimlessly digging in forums more than I'm in lightroom, I'm not shooting enough.  It's that easy. 
I was listening to a podcast today that gave me a great kick in the butt.  It talked about if you had a desire to become a painter, one way to set out to make 100 crappy painting (crappy was not the word used, but you get the picture).  You don't become a painter by reading about painting, or simply buying paints, or looking at beautiful paintings.  You become a painter by painting.  Sometimes painting crappy paintings.  And that's okay.  Because by the end of 100 crappy paintings, you'll be a painter, and somewhere along the way you'll have made something beautiful.  This entire concept spoke deeply to me. 
So I grabbed my camera tonight.  It was nearly dark already, and I decided I wasn't going to tun on a light, just start shooting.  The house is quiet, and dark, and I aimlessly started walking around and found little pockets of light. 
After just a few frame, I can feel it start to melt.  I can feel the revival of the joy returning. 

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